How To Overcome Value Distraction Syndrome

Have you ever felt like you're just not good enough?  Not good enough for anyone, not even yourself?  How much time have we wasted reviewing conversations in our minds trying to assess how someone else feels about us? What does that do to our motivation?  How does that affect our focus?  How can we carry out our calling when we feel so distracted and devalued?    We can't.

Take heart, my dear friend, you are not alone!  The thousands of people I've worked with have all struggled with these feelings, including me.  There have been times along my journey where I felt lost, worthless, and even abandoned.   

Yes, I had Value Distraction Syndrome. This is what I call it when we are unable to focus and walk in the good works that God has prepared for us due to being distracted by the misperception of our value.  

As a Christian, we often think it's noble to try to ignore these feelings and press on like we are "rising above" somehow.  The reality is we are setting ourselves up for future failure if we don't deal with our value issue.

Here's a quick 3 step process to realign your mind with God's assignment of your value:

STEP 1: Remember Who Gets To Assign Your Value

Part of our problem is that our minds assign relative value to everything around us, things, people, experiences, and even ourselves. We assess people's value relative to our needs at that moment.  We cannot let others' assessment of our relative value control our understanding of our actual value. If we truly want to grasp our actual value, we need to look at God's actions toward us.  After all, we are His creation, His design, and "His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works..." (Eph 2:10).  He assigns and communicates our value. (Actual Value)

STEP 2:  Remember Why He Assigned Your Actual Value

When you look at the story of all humanity, one thing is clear.  Our Father in heaven loves us.  He doesn't have to.  He chooses to.  He has gone to great lengths to communicate this to us through His Word, His Holy Spirit, and Himself.  

Out of that love, comes an opportunity for us to glorify Him and enjoy His presence forever.  He has given us the most important mission in the history of the world: Making disciples (Matthew 28:18-20).  This includes telling others about Jesus' finished work at the cross as well as walking with and teaching them during the process of God conforming them to the image of His Son, Jesus. (Romans 8:29)

STEP 3: Stop Being A Carrier Of Value Distraction Syndrome

A root cause of this cycle of Value Distraction Syndrome continuing comes from our language and how we interact with others. We are often spreading a relative value mindset without realizing it. This can happen in very subtle ways through parenting, friendships, etc.  We must work at seeing others as God sees them and then use our LANGUAGE and ACTIONS to reinforce their value.

LANGUAGE: When we connect phrases like "Great Job!" and "I love you!" in the same breath, it can cause others to hear "my performance was good enough to be loved."  Work on separating these two concepts as you speak with others.  Intentionally communicate love apart from activity.

ACTIONS: Seek for others to feel loved in your actions toward them.  Communicate gratitude, thankfulness, and appreciation often to everyone you come in contact with.  Send cards, texts of encouragement, etc.  Get creative. This creates an environment where people know they are valued not by what they do, but because of who God has designed them to be.

Result: 

Do you want to jump out of bed in the morning with joy and excitement for the work God has for you?  Deal with your Value Distraction Syndrome

If you effectively deal with your understanding of your value, you can truly be freed up to live the life you were designed for and stop wasting your time wondering what others are thinking of you.  Your value can be so secure in Christ that it no longer demands your attention or distracts you from your mission.